Still Like Air, We Rise

As a woman of color in administration with an aptitude for nurturing others, I have been exposed to the retort "Black women are the worst to work under!" Perhaps, you have heard some version of this statement.

As a Black woman, and as a leader, I cringe when I hear this statement. I also cringe as individuals recount tales of torture at the hands of women of color in the workplace.

Some may say there are sadistic individuals of every race and gender bullying their way through public administration (with a glaring public example who I will not name).

Let us focus on the already underrepresented demographic who sits (or strives to sit) at The Table and whose presence inspired B-WISE's clarion call: Black women leaders.

The individuals spouting the refrain usually reference a hypercritical, difficult and disagreeable supervisor who seems unmerciful and unrelenting in belittling or riding the targets under her charge to the point of cruelty and de-motivation.

Recently, I spoke with an executive in communications with a cache of awards and accolades as to her rationale for uttering the taboo phrase about Black women leaders when she, too, is a Black woman leader. She attributed her statement to experiences under a difficult leader who she described as "hateful" and who resulted in her departure to another agency for relief.

This attribute rang a bell in its frequency of use in describing a bad boss who tortured her charges.

There are three sides to every story: one from each perspective and then the objective truth.

Yet each person's experience yields its own form of truth. And in every telling, there is some grain of experienced realness.

Have you ever observed "hateful" leaders in action and wonder what wretched circumstance caused their nastiness? Or have you ever been the unfortunate target of a continuous negative actor?

It is important to note that the intent is not to blindly subject all women leaders of color to a stereotype. As much as I despise the refrain, there is a need to consider the underlying issue.

The Workplace Bullying Institute covers the issue of bullying across all demographics and internationally. It provides a universal resource for this topic. (www.workplacebullying.org)

The Institute defines the concept of "Workplace Bullying" as health-harming mistreatment.

"It is abusive conduct that is:

• Threatening, humiliating, or intimidating,

• Work interference — sabotage — which prevents work from getting done, or

• Verbal abuse."

WBI has reams of research on "women-on-women" bullying in the workplace and its roots.

WBI research points to insecurity as a root cause, particularly when it comes to the underrepresented.

WBI is a useful resource for professionals who want to avoid the pitfalls in themselves or in finding relief.

I, too, have observed and attempted to re-mediate "hatefulness" or bullying in the workplace across all races, genders and orientation.

I have come to accept that there are some bad actors, although certainly, it would be blasphemous and defeating to perpetuate the notion ascribed to Black women leaders as a collective reality.

For those unfortunate few whose actions create a stereotype:

• Perhaps their actions are rooted in personal trauma and outward rage is the result.

• Perhaps it is an incapacity for empathy as some unfortunate flaw of character.

• Perhaps it is a need to appear to be "in charge" in an authoritative way that suffers no "fools."

• Maybe it is a lack of understanding in motivating people.

• Or maybe it is as simple as bad managers exist.

Whatever the root cause, I am reminded of a Dr. King quote that says “Let no man (or woman) bring you so low as to hate.”

The context here is aligned with the allegory cited by Mahatma Gandhi that if we ascribe to the notion of “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth that everyone would be walking around blind and toothless.”

In other words, even if exposed to poor examples, the hazed do not need to become hazers. (Hated; Haters)

And so, even as hateful actions, words and deeds assault us all at some point in any setting by any manner of person, we cannot be drawn into the darkness of returning the act with mean-spiritedness. That prospect has no reward.

While Dr. King said he decided to “stick with love because hate was too hard a burden to bear,” I am not sure if love is the solution. Indifference, maybe, for the actor whose behavior denotes a much greater fault in spirit is more sensible than the abstract act of love.

Then, go further to vowing a personal resolution that odious and baneful behavior is not replicated toward any other human in your own journey in leadership.

Yes, we have the power to use our time and energy to emit light and uplift which “drives out” the hatefulness. There are bright minds to cultivate. There are trails to be blazed. There is important work to be done. So in the words of Gandhi, we “become the change.” #BWInspire #BeTheChange #OurSistersKeeper